November 20, 2007

…..wanders my life despite


~horrendous work pressure


~three weeks of migraines


~ a man who I knew should contact me, and did, as I was resting from risk-taking, stating to my questions: If you could invite five people to dinner, alive or not, famous or not, who would you invite and why? Included, me! Yet, in his Must Haves he clearly states the following: I must have a partner who is considered very attractive by most current standards. And, another must have was: I can’t stand someone who is overweight. I have written him, we are in open communication, and clearly stated that I am fat. I love life. Wonderment will get back to you on this ……..


~lack of money, lack of balanced diet, lack of balance, lack of a headlight on a suspended license, see lack of money, because it took me being pushed against the wall to register and pay taxes on the car I bought, oh!, see lack of money


~Wait! I have money it just leaves so quickly, we never talk anymore. Sigh.


~I think imbalance is a teacher, by the way, so there.


~I did not sleep last night. I slept this morning from 5 am to about 7:30. The night before a registration day, I am going to put that on my next resume under talents.


~And, to the short emails from my connections around the world, who touch me.


~To my advisee Jared, who clearly stated I need a younger man! Yea babeee……


~And to tonight’s movie, may it work this time, my third try from Netflix:


The Fantastic Planet!












November 18, 2007

Steven Gelberg has books and I want to share the link in case you are interested or are pondering how to find your way to my heart buy getting me one!

Steven Gelberg

And! Anwar has been busy boy. (I know, but I have a thing for alliteration!)

So, if you are in Paris stop by or if you feel like wooing me buy me a plane ticket to Paris!

Anwar Hossain:

May I have the pleasure of your company at the next three of

My film projections at Musee Guimet in Paris .

The details are highlighted in the Joint-file.

I would also love to invite you at the opening ceremony

Of my solo exhibition of photography “ VISIONS & LIGHTS

At the reception hall of Hospital Avicenne at Bobigny

On 13th December at 6.00 pm.

Sincerely yours

Photographer – Cinematographer
Tel: +33(0)1.4362.7784. raadheet@hotmail.com
http://anwarpix.com/.. http://anwarimage.com/


Photos from Anwar and Steven to cue your memory!




Anwar Hossain





Steven Gelberg

(Watching and Seeing)


November 18, 2007

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat. She asked him if it was dead or alive.

“Dead.” she was informed.

“How do you know?” she asked her pupil.

“Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move” answered the child innocently.

“You did WHAT?!?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

“You know”, explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”







Steven Gelberg

From: Wedding Photos

Sammi the Wonder Dog

November 17, 2007

Is still with us……..

She came out of something and I am working on her engagement level. She sleeps a lot and will start a supposed wonder vitaimin next month.

We are still running a special home for 23 year old so ugly I am beautiful dog but life is in the moment and we smile muchly.

For the moment, it is Sammi time.




John Running

Blog Resting

April 25, 2007

QT Luong

Leone Bay~Tutuila~American Samoa


{Shh. I hear surf susurrus)

Recently, I chose to remind myself that I am responsible for my own happiness.

I put one foot in front of the other, looked up, and opened my arms.

And, a flood came.

I am having an amazing life these days. I am busy with work but I dine on school nights now with friends, their kids who I love, on weekends I have kids to my house for our “it takes a village” dance. I have never birthed a child. I spend one weekend a month with my “bionic boobhead” friend who finally realizes that she cannot do everything alone.

None of us can.

Maybe this is why:

To be there for those who need me.

To be there for my need of them.

All in love.

I actually allowed myself a little too much in person connectivity. My biology literally requires time alone or my immune system drops. So, garden weekend was “shit am I sick weekend and why can’t the dog make me chicken soup?”

I think, given that I have no bathtub, (which I consider a global crisis), acetaminophen is a fine thing for functionality. See, I had to make the chicken soup!

I am about to let go of teaching, live on even less money, and learn to exercise and be a graduate student. I am scared shitless.

I need to leave Nebraska. I cannot leave; money is not.

I found a program in Colorado with a summer sessions and online work. I have to take 6 credits a term so I can go in debt.

Did I say I am scared shitless?

I thought you would want to know that part.

Time to make curry shrimp and read my trashy fall asleep mystery.

Good resting……







Women in Landscape


Steven Gelberg

Uncle Brian

March 7, 2007




Brian Korshak


Uncle Brian died.

He died in the kitchen he shared with Aunt Miriam for 49 years. He passed through reading the Sunday paper with his cat nearby. He died quickly.

When I was 15, in 1975, Uncle Brian was ahead of it all: He was onto aerobic exercise. He ate well, lived joyfully, and exercised. I believe his life was full from within. I know I felt this from him and live that way myself now. He is inside of me.

He was my soul uncle, the prince of my developmental years, a man who fathered me (one can never have too many parents), and who taught me something that has saved my life many times.

He was Jewish yet did not practice in any overt way that I could ever fathom. He found bliss in opera, Broadway musicals, creating, and his cats.

I moved away from Uncle Brian and Aunt Miriam when I was 12. I left something so unique that I could only recognize  with age.

I now live with 4 cats. My mother told me she wants to come back in another life as one of my cats. Uncle Brian loved his cats, all cats.

I went back to Houston, TX for the summer when I was 15 and worked in a photography lab. Uncle Brian drove me to work in his Volkswagen Karmann Ghia, sometimes with the top down. He taught me about driving as we drove to work with opera wafting through the breeze. He told me to always focus on the white line on the side of the road at night, which would keep me safe. He was right. I have an eye condition where pigment adjustment is an ordeal at best, he has saved my life in blizzards, fogs, when high beams bore into my iris, and when the rain was so hard, and there was nowhere to pull over, a shovel for windshield wipers was the need of the moment.

Along with my father, he taught me photography by being a photographer.

It took me until my 30’s to discover opera. I did it well: San Francisco Opera House, first balcony, second row, read about the opera before I went, listened to it even.

I was mesmerized. Until then, I did not truly know opera.





Amar Khoday


He was an intelligent man, intellectually and emotionally.

Several years ago he emailed me this sentence: “It only gets better.”

Because of who he is and was, because he taught me something so fundamental, he is with me in presence. It is not just memory I have with him; it is a living.

I never told him.

I experienced the closest thing to regret I have ever felt. Not quite regret, I am too human to judge things anymore. I want him to know. So, I am releasing this to him now. I do not know all the mysteries, all the answers, how it all works.

I only know that I love him and always will.





The Endless Journey-Finding the Light at the End of the Desert

Amar Khoday


PS. Aunt Miriam is an entire story unto herself. And, I am sure she knows this. This is what she taught me.









Cheesecake Rangoon!






Mine looked different, no whipped cream, no ice cream and were shaped like triangles. I had white and dark chocolate sauce and was ready to die.


Oh my word………..






Much Better Now!

November 12, 2006






Henri Matisse





Against the Wind

Dale Wicks





Tree Pruitt




Working on Mysteries

Dale Wicks




Lovers II

Elly Simmons




The Celestial Life Generator

Jack Haas



Now I can go to bed!

Good night!