No Words

March 29, 2008

Steven Gelberg





i have no words for this pain

that takes me from life

the living

the agony



has no outlet

no comforter

no listener

no compassion



this wordless soundless

wailing pain

that was so held

before this night



gone is the holding

gone is the loving

gone is what i

thought i had



i thought i knew



yesterday i knew

i could trust

i said allow yourself

to be loved




i am left


i do not


understand anything




the news

the world

the leaver



my friends

yes, my friends

i have no friends for this moment

unless you count the dead


i am a shitty friend

reaping what is

scattered and returns

as my due


i trust that he had to go

i trust that he loved me

i trust that i drove him mad

i trust that he too is just as scared as i am……..


or at least i dream this


i cannot speak for someone else


though i try

though i wish


to box it all up

to make sense of the senseless


this mind that cannot grasp

being told


i never wanted this love you give

i feel self hatred


i do not know why

i do not know the source


i sit here in nothing drowning



what is this place?


i do not know it


road map please


or just take me away








march 2008



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