No Words

March 29, 2008

Steven Gelberg

Landscape

 

landscapesp3.jpg

 

i have no words for this pain

that takes me from life

the living

the agony

 

 

has no outlet

no comforter

no listener

no compassion

 

 

this wordless soundless

wailing pain

that was so held

before this night

 

 

gone is the holding

gone is the loving

gone is what i

thought i had

 

 

i thought i knew

 

 

yesterday i knew

i could trust

i said allow yourself

to be loved

 

 

today

i am left

today

i do not

 

understand anything

 

 

myself

the news

the world

the leaver

 

 

my friends

yes, my friends

i have no friends for this moment

unless you count the dead

 

i am a shitty friend

reaping what is

scattered and returns

as my due

 

i trust that he had to go

i trust that he loved me

i trust that i drove him mad

i trust that he too is just as scared as i am……..

 

or at least i dream this

 

i cannot speak for someone else

 

though i try

though i wish

 

to box it all up

to make sense of the senseless

 

this mind that cannot grasp

being told

 

i never wanted this love you give

i feel self hatred

 

i do not know why

i do not know the source

 

i sit here in nothing drowning

 

 

what is this place?

 

i do not know it

 

road map please

 

or just take me away

 

 

now……..

 

 

 

kimsmith

march 2008

 

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