I Knew I Hurt

Gidrius Varnas

I ate the food;

Drank the drink,

I knew I hurt.

Took the pill,

Kept the job,

I knew I hurt

Did the therapy

Talked words~

I knew I hurt

Stinging words

Did not know.

I knew I hurt

I made friends

Who held me close

I knew I hurt

I loved him

The present absence

I knew I hurt

Sumptuously I cooked

Fed with love

I knew I hurt

I heard their music

I played in looks

I knew I hurt

Not me,

I whispered

I knew I hurt

I worked hard~

I said healing!

I knew I hurt

I loved the one,

Dancing in time.

I knew I hurt

Struggling in the fray,

Fucking in the moments~

I knew I hurt

But, I did not know

Knowing.

One night

Someone came.

Seeing me,

Speaking my

Truth

Ripped through

My Soul

Curled up fetal

On the bed

I knew I hurt

Through the opening

Wind howls

Abrading the hurt

With caresses

That ached

And stung

And bristled

And rebelled~

Till silence

Held me close.

kimsmith

Street Abandon

Elly Simmons

Then I Met You (AKA Kim Is In Love)

John Running

Then I Met You

Thought that I’d be happy
Going to be so happy
Living life alone and never sharing anything

Thought that I was finished
Thought that I was complete
Thought that I was whole instead of being half of something

Thought that I was growing
Growing older, wiser
Understanding why this world held nothing for my spirit

Thought that I was destined
Destined to be nothing
Destined to be nothing in this world and then I met you.

I met you

Thought that God had failed me
Thought my prayers were useless
Thought that he would never give the chance for me to praise him

Thought the book was written
Thought the game had ended
Thought the song was sung and I could never sing another

Thought my faith was misplaced
Thought my back was broken
Broken by a weight that I was never fit to carry

Thought I knew this city
Thought I knew all about it
And then one night I went to Morningside and you were waiting

I met you

 

The Proclaimers

Bruce My Last Sigh Flickr

 

No Words

Steven Gelberg

Landscape

 

 

i have no words for this pain

that takes me from life

the living

the agony

 

 

has no outlet

no comforter

no listener

no compassion

 

 

this wordless soundless

wailing pain

that was so held

before this night

 

 

gone is the holding

gone is the loving

gone is what i

thought i had

 

 

i thought i knew

 

 

yesterday i knew

i could trust

i said allow yourself

to be loved

 

 

today

i am left

today

i do not

 

understand anything

 

 

myself

the news

the world

the leaver

 

 

my friends

yes, my friends

i have no friends for this moment

unless you count the dead

 

i am a shitty friend

reaping what is

scattered and returns

as my due

 

i trust that he had to go

i trust that he loved me

i trust that i drove him mad

i trust that he too is just as scared as i am……..

 

or at least i dream this

 

i cannot speak for someone else

 

though i try

though i wish

 

to box it all up

to make sense of the senseless

 

this mind that cannot grasp

being told

 

i never wanted this love you give

i feel self hatred

 

i do not know why

i do not know the source

 

i sit here in nothing drowning

 

 

what is this place?

 

i do not know it

 

road map please

 

or just take me away

 

 

now……..

 

 

 

kimsmith

march 2008

 

Search

Q T Luong

Fountain Stanford University SF Bay Area California

 

 

 

I search

For my

Face

In front

The Mirror

 

 

As it

Was

Behind

Me

Then

 

 

Beside

Me

Also

Is this

Searching

 

 

Belongings,

Not the

Act,

Being

 

Is this

 

Moments

Action

In a

Water Drop

 

 

kimsmith

 

 

 

 

 

Expect Nothing

Khuki

Anwar Hossaim

expect nothing. live frugally
on surprise.
become a stranger
to need of pity
or, if compassion be freely
given out
take only enough
stop short of urge to plead
then purge away the need.

wish for nothing larger
than your own small heart
or greater than a star,
tame wild disappointment
with caress unmoved and cold
make of it a parka
for your soul.

discover the reason why
so tiny human midget
exists at all
so scared unwise
but expect nothing. live frugally
on surprise.

Alice Walker

 

Ahmend Al Safi

Is Not

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Creep into

My Maze

Leave me

Lost and Found

 

To see the way

Is truncated

Bifurcated

Desiccated

 

Until I see

That all is

Found in

All that is

 

Lost.

kimsmith

Stranger

Darek Banisek

Image19

 

 

Our strangers

Dance their masks,

Swaying at the ball as

Drummers beat out

 

Secrets.

 

This self’s enigma-

Inhalation, faith,

Clarity, confusion-

Speaks loves mystery.

 

We wander in what is left…

Quivering in places~

Choices, walking blind

In the living fog,

Hearing the voices sigh:

 

Be

 

Action

Grasps

Towards

What is not

What never was

What never will

 

Be.

 

See.

 

 

 

kimsmith

 

 

 

Tree Pruitt

Restrictions

 

Soggy Bloggy

I am a sloggy blogger. S.A.D? Depression? Distraction?

Bumm dee bumm……..

Wink…………

Happy Birthday Emily!

 Part Four: Time and Eternity 

XXXI  

 

DEATH is a dialogue between

The spirit and the dust.

“Dissolve,” says Death.

The Spirit, “Sir,I have another trust.”

Death doubts it, argues from the ground

The Spirit turns away,

Just laying off, for evidence.

An overcoat of clay  

Emily Dickinson  

Happy Birthday Emily December 10, 1830

I Shit You Not…

…the last two nights Sammie, the wonder dog, has been clear eyed and RUNNING. We call the arthritic god am I old but so excited to see you cuz you got ‘da beef for dinner mama!

Wonderment…………………………..

 

 

(not Sammie, but Sammie is this cool…)