Invisible Sun
December 19, 2008

My humanity’s skin
Fits me.
I am its strengths
Its weaknesses.
From a childhood
Of secrets,
Being good,
Invisible, the good girl-
Comes this ability-
To see and hear,
To not be seen,
To be the observer.
Yet, in the hidden
Corners lies danger.
The soul risks slow submersion
When hidden in the dark.
When the good girl
Becomes the grounding,
The listener, the receiver,
Obscured from the light,
Death begins its
Slow creep.
Innocuously, like
Mitosis, splitting
The self from
Self, light, and air.
It is insidious and
It is death.
She becomes a secret.
She becomes the lie.
She becomes others lies.
She becomes invisible.
Turning towards the
Dungeon’s door,
The tearing of tectonic
Magnitude, she walks away,
Into the light.
kimsmith

Dancing in the Sunshine
Exhaling
December 19, 2008

So ugly,
You were beautiful
In your elegant stubbornness;
Your life gift
Sitting on the porch
I rocked you in my arms;
The prairie house
Held us in the
Big sky.
The cornfield,
Harvested, stubbled,
Enchanted as the
Ladybugs swarmed
The only moment
Of distress, the prick
Of the needle-
Irritated you.
So, I told
You stories of
Being a baby
About shots myself.
I told you love.
I told you goodbye.
I told you, it is okay.
And, you knew.
So, we rocked
As we
Exhaled
In
Love.
kimsmith

Stationery
October 22, 2008
The
moon did not become the sun.
It
just fell on the desert
in
great sheets, reams
of
silver handmade by you.
The
night is your cottage industry now,
the
day is your brisk emporium.
The
world is full of paper.
Write
to me.
Agha
Shahid Ali
I Do Not Love You Except Because I Love You
October 22, 2008
I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.
I love you only because it’s you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly
Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.
In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
Pablo Neruda
Fire
April 21, 2008
Gold Nude

I am fire
in the water
falling over
the air
that breathes me,
annihilates me.
Dividing me,
divining me
from the
fog that
held me
once.
Now I
swim in
flames screaming
truths
I cannot hear
the sound inside me;
its silence
overwhelms me.
kimsmith
Flaming Love
No Words
March 29, 2008
Landscape

i have no words for this pain
that takes me from life
the living
the agony
has no outlet
no comforter
no listener
no compassion
this wordless soundless
wailing pain
that was so held
before this night
gone is the holding
gone is the loving
gone is what i
thought i had
i thought i knew
yesterday i knew
i could trust
i said allow yourself
to be loved
today
i am left
today
i do not
understand anything
myself
the news
the world
the leaver
my friends
yes, my friends
i have no friends for this moment
unless you count the dead
i am a shitty friend
reaping what is
scattered and returns
as my due
i trust that he had to go
i trust that he loved me
i trust that i drove him mad
i trust that he too is just as scared as i am……..
or at least i dream this
i cannot speak for someone else
though i try
though i wish
to box it all up
to make sense of the senseless
this mind that cannot grasp
being told
i never wanted this love you give
i feel self hatred
i do not know why
i do not know the source
i sit here in nothing drowning
what is this place?
i do not know it
road map please
or just take me away
now……..
kimsmith
march 2008
Search
March 2, 2008
Fountain Stanford University SF Bay Area California

I search
For my
Face
In front
The Mirror
As it
Was
Behind
Me
Then
Beside
Me
Also
Is this
Searching
Belongings,
Not the
Act,
Being
Is this
Moments
Action
In a
Water Drop
kimsmith
Expect Nothing
February 15, 2008
Khuki

expect nothing. live frugally
on surprise.
become a stranger
to need of pity
or, if compassion be freely
given out
take only enough
stop short of urge to plead
then purge away the need.
wish for nothing larger
than your own small heart
or greater than a star,
tame wild disappointment
with caress unmoved and cold
make of it a parka
for your soul.
discover the reason why
so tiny human midget
exists at all
so scared unwise
but expect nothing. live frugally
on surprise.
Alice Walker

Is Not
February 15, 2008

Creep into
My Maze
Leave me
Lost and Found
To see the way
Is truncated
Bifurcated
Desiccated
Until I see
That all is
Found in
All that is
Lost.

kimsmith
Stranger
February 11, 2008
Darek Banisek
Image19

Our strangers
Dance their masks,
Swaying at the ball as
Drummers beat out
Secrets.
This self’s enigma-
Inhalation, faith,
Clarity, confusion-
Speaks loves mystery.
We wander in what is left…
Quivering in places~
Choices, walking blind
In the living fog,
Hearing the voices sigh:
Be
Action
Grasps
Towards
What is not
What never was
What never will
Be.
See.
kimsmith

Restrictions




