Into the Dark
February 27, 2007
Feet
There were stairs they were steep
I was falling falling deep
You were there you were small
There was screaming down the hall
I’ve been here sleeping all these years
There comes a time we all know
There’s a place that we must go
Into the soul into the heart
Into the dark
Reverie
There was fire there was death
There was lying on your breath
I turned away I would pretend
But the burning never ends
I’ve been here sleeping all these years
There was a wave over the house
There was fear choked in my mouth
You were there you left your mark
As I stumbled in the dark
Heather’s Gate
Solitude
February 26, 2007
Tsoknyi Rinpoche Throws Wind Horse Prayers
Copyright
I am like a flag surrounded by distances.
I sense winds that are coming, and must live them,
while the things down below don’t yet stir:
the doors still close softly, and in the chimneys there’s silence;
the windows don’t tremble yet, and the dust is still calm.
Then I know the storms already and grow embroiled like the sea.
And spread myself out and plunge deep inside myself
and cast myself off and am entirely alone
in the great storm.
Ranier Maria Rilke
Your Heart’s Desire
My Last Sigh: Flickr
Somebody Loves Me
February 26, 2007
When this world began
It was heaven’s plan
There should be a girl for ev’ry single man
To my great regret
Someone has upset
Heaven’s pretty programme for we’ve never met
I’m clutching at straws, just because
I may meet him yet
Hotel Clerk
Somebody loves me, I wonder who
I wonder who he can be
Somebody loves me, I wish I knew,
Who can he be worries me.
For ev’ry boy who passes me I shout, “ Hey, maybe
You were meant to be my loving baby.”
Somebody loves me, I wonder who,
Maybe it’s you.
Lyrics:
Ballard McDonald
B.G “Buddy” De Sylva
Music:
George Gershwin
Sung By:
P.S. I searched long and hard for an audio of Lena Singing. I heard her on Pandora; I have linked her to there. Can I tell ya? I almost banged my head on my mouse! Doris links to a recording. I still own Doris Day albums! (Shhhhsss! Don’t tell anyone!)
Kim
Be Near Me
February 24, 2007
You who demolish me, you whom I love
be near me. Remain near me when evening,
drunk on the blood of the skies,
becomes night, in its one hand
a perfumed balm, in the other
a sword sheathed in the diamond of stars.
Be near me when night laments or sings,
or when it begins to dance,
in steel blue anklets ringing with grief.
Be here when longings, long submerged
in the heart’s waters resurface
and when everyone begins to look:
Where is the assassin In whose sleeve
is hidden the redeeming knife?
Two
And when wine, as it is poured, is the sobbing
of children whom nothing will console-
when nothing holds,
when nothing is:
at that dark hour when night mourns,
be near me, my destroyer, my lover,
be near me.
Chagrin
Spring is Coming!
February 21, 2007
I know it is. It is 35 degrees out at 1:31 AM.
Oh my, I realize I have to budget my garden now!
Woo Hootie!
Sun and muddy floors are my joy. (What can I say with 4 cats and a dog who have had cabin fever for 4 weeks!)
Get down with my bodacious spring ass self. And, who cares if it snows again? It’s coming!
Playing in the Mud Kim
Pomegranates
The Heart’s Truth
February 21, 2007
I am privileged to work with what we call non-traditional students in the world of higher (ahem) education. Today I met with Kim who is just finishing her first term. She took a course called Reorientation to Higher Education to get her feet back into college life boots; she is a mother of 3 sons, a grandmother for the first time, married, and has worked all her life. She is ready to finish her bachelor’s degree, a life long goal.
The only homework assignment in this class is a writing assignment given by Jay, an astounding writing teacher who can teach you commas and how to discover your own story in one breath.
Kim took the assignment to heart.
She arrived to discuss the spring schedule, or so I thought.
The first thing she did was hand me her paper for the Reorientation class. She said to me, “Please read this and tell me if it is good.” I did. It was about her childhood. She told of a childhood rippling with Cinderella images. I was astounded.
She pulled out one of those black and white bound “notebooks” and showed me pages and pages of writing. She carries it everywhere she goes now.
She is telling her story.
She is not a victim, she is not sad; she is exuberant in her newfound journey. I know pain will come, she is in the truth of her heart and that is good for her. She told me so and my little office filled with her awareness and energy.
I want her to know that she is part of my story, an inspired one that I am privileged to be part of.
And you?
Have you found the truth of your heart?
Be well,
Kim
Monk Mahaparinirvana
Truth of the Heart
February 21, 2007
I hear your questions
I see your face
Your life before you
Is full of grace
What can I tell you
To let you know
Your angel’s eyes
Will watch you grow
Come listen close
And I’ll try to let you know
It’s all I know
There is no magic
There are no secrets
We all begin this race at the start
But I have come this far
With a truth of the heart
Deep down inside
I think we’re all the same
Try not to judge someone
And never shame
I do believe that people are good
They just want hope and respect
And to be understood
Sometimes it’s hard sometimes it’s strange
But the truth of the heart is people can change
Yes there is danger and there are shadows
And there is fear inside the dark
It has powered countries and borne religion
Fear can never rule the heart
My father’s burden
My mother’s rain
My own desire
My sister’s pain
All souls have traveled along this road
Each one has carried their own heavy load
or
My Calypso
February 19, 2007
Odysseus and Calypso
I love classical literature; it was my worst educational moment when the instructor was dapper and about to retire. It felt like he was massacring them. After working long hours in a group home, I would come to his class in the evenings for 2.5 hours and want to tear my hair out. Or, sleep.
I loved the plot, I loved the messy gods, and I loved the hubris, the tragedy.
They were written in a time when the male figure spoke through form, and that form is part of my love for this literature. Nonetheless, I was missing something. I guess I wanted it all.
I once read a novel based on a classical plot where the tragic hero was a lesbian who had lost her way. I was astounded. I hardly put it down.
Suzanne gives us another perspective on Calypso: What she suffered and how she loved and what she ultimately chose to do out of love.
I will be forever grateful to Suzanne Vega for this song and giving me a piece of what I was missing. It’s all in perspective, and there are so many perspectives and so little time!
Kim
Suzanne Vega’s Page On Calypso
Calypso
February 18, 2007
Lisa Denning
My name is Calypso
And I have lived alone
I live on an island
And I waken to the dawn
A long time ago
I watched him struggle with the sea
I knew that he was drowning
And I brought him into me
Now today
Come morning light
He sails away
After one last night
I let him go.
Salt of the waves
And of tears
And though he pulled away,
I kept him here for years
I let him go
My name is Calypso
I have let him go
In the dawn he sails away
To be gone forever more
And the waves will take him in again
But he’ll know their ways now
I will stand upon the shore
With a clean heart
And my song in the wind
The sand will sting my feet
And the sky will burn
It’s a lonely time ahead
I do not ask him to return
I let him go
I let him go
SuzanneVega
Symphony in Black and White
Prince of Darkness
February 17, 2007
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
And I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
And I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
I don’t know when I noticed life was life at my expense
The words of my heart lined up like prisoners on a fence
The dreams came in like needy children tugging at my sleeve
I said I have no way of feeding you, so leave
But there was a time I asked my father for a dollar
And he gave it a ten dollar raise
And when I needed my mother and I called her
She stayed with me for days
Now someone’s on the telephone, desperate in his pain
Someone’s on the bathroom floor doing her cocaine
Someone’s got his finger on the button in some room
No one can convince me we aren’t gluttons for our doom
But I tried to make this place my place
I asked for providence to smile upon me with his sweet face
Yeah but Ill tell you
Children Series
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
And I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
(by grace, my sight grows stronger)
And I do not feel the romance I will not be
(and I will not be a pawn for the prince of darkness any longer)
Maybe there’s no haven in this world for tender age
My heart beat like the wings of wild birds in a cage
My greatest hope my greatest cause to grieve
And my heart flew from its cage and it bled upon my sleeve
Oh the cries of passion were like wounds that needed healing
I couldn’t hear them for the thunder
I was half the naked distance between hell and heavens ceiling
And he almost pulled me under
Now someone’s on the telephone, desperate in his pain
Someone’s on the bathroom floor doing her cocaine
Someone’s got his finger on the button in some room
No one can convince me we aren’t gluttons for our doom
But I tried to make this place my place
I asked for providence to smile upon me with his sweet face
But Ill tell you
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
And I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
My place is of the sun and this place is of the dark
(by grace, my sight grows stronger)
And I do not feel the romance I do not catch the spark
(grows stronger)
By grace
(my place is of the sun)
My sight
(and this place is of the dark)
Is growing stronger
(I do not feel the romance)
I will not be a pawn
(I will not be)
For the prince of darkness any longer
Foothills of Mont Sainte-Victoire
